I Don’t Want To Be A “Lead” When I Grow Up

Imagine holding a baby and telling that precious child this bedtime story …

Life is colorful and full of adventure.  When you grow up, you’re going to become a “lead”.  

You’ll feel very special to be part of a “highly targeted” audience and an “autoresponder list”.  

Oh, what fun you’ll have traveling through a “sales funnel”!  

Not as thrilling as riding a roller coaster, but a fun ride nonetheless.   

Online marketers and small business owners from around the globe will be competing for your attention.  So you’ll need to become an instant pro at dodging “sales pitches” and recognizing “hype and fluff”.  

Be careful!  Those “bright shiny objects” can mesmerize and allure you.  

Once you become someone’s “prospect”, your inbox will be overflowing with mail.  Won’t it be wonderful to awaken every day to loads of correspondence from “internet marketers” who love to stay in touch with you?!  

Some days they’ll send you off to a “squeeze page”.  Don’t worry.  The squeezing doesn’t hurt.  I promise.

Other days they’ll ask you to enter an “opt in box”.  It’s easy to get in and relatively painless.  

You’ll have lots of opportunities to exercise your visual and auditory senses with all the invitations you’ll receive to attend “webinars” and “teleseminars”.  

Your reading skills are sure to be sharpened, too!  Everyone will ask you to visit their “blog”, read their “posts”, leave “comments”, and share their pearls of wisdom on “social media”.   

It’s inevitable, at some point, you’ll be encouraged to pull out your credit card, make a purchase, and download an “info product”.   But let’s not think about that right now.  You’re looking pretty sleepy.

One more thing before you nod off and head into slumberland.

If you don’t want to be a “lead” when you grow up …

That’s okay and no one will blame you for feeling that way.  

Traveling through that sales funnel sounds kinda scary, doesn’t it?!  

People shouldn’t be referred to as leads, anyway.  The term isn’t very endearing and it doesn’t have much of a friendly ring to it.

Now go off to sleep, little one, and “Dream Big!”

  • Life is colorful and full of adventure. Be careful! Those “bright shiny objects” can mesmerize and allure you. I think it depends to a person if he wants to lead. Because we are the one making our decision and no one is holding our heart and mind for what we want to do. We should follow our selves and dreams in life.

  • Melanie,

    You are so creative!! I wish I had that in me.

    What a great bedtime story. Maybe I’ll try it on my daughter, lol. I’ll wait for her to ask “Mom, what’s a lead? Or an email list?” And then I’ll lay it on her. And tell her, “that is what mommy does.” And then she will say “That is boring!” LOL.


  • hehe, you are right about that
    people treat each other in a weird way these days

  • Hi Melanie,

    Yes, I agree our subconscious minds can take over some times. It’s like we only see what we want to see, even when what we’re seeing is an illusion! 🙂

    • The mind is a POWERFUL tool, isn’t it, Hiten? 🙂

  • Hi Melanie,

    That has to be the most funniest and creative posts I’ve read for a long time. I have to admit, when I saw the title of your post, I thought it was something to do with leadership, but then as I started to read, it became clear it was in the context of Internet marketing!

    Very good. 🙂

    • Hiten!

      What a joy to see you here. Thanks for knocking on my door today.

      Another reader got a bit confused, too, so you’re not alone. It’s SO easy for our subconscious minds to take over sometimes, isn’t it?

      Although I LOVE to explore the topic of leadership …

      This little piece was definitely intended as a spoof on internet marketing. 🙂

      Hope you’re having a magical and meaningful weekend,

  • Hi Thanks for sharing. thanks for pointing out the things that a blogger must have to be successful

    • Hi Vernette and thanks for the visit.

      I’m not certain I fully understand your comment.

      What “things that a blogger must have to be successful” are you referring to?

  • I think that is the exact bedtime story I told my son when he was a baby!! lol Very clever post Melanie but then I would expect nothing less. You really hit a home run on all points of becoming the ‘lead’ but as you say, its all right if you don’t. Just dream big and make your dreams come true. After all, we are the only ones to make that happen.

    Thanks so much for a wonderful analogy and insight to this crazy online world!

    • Hey Lynn

      I didn’t know what a “lead” was when my four daughters were babies. LOL!

      Thanks for dropping in and enjoying my crazy insights into the realm of online marketing. 🙂

      Have an awesome week!

  • Isn’t that too much pressure for a toddler to take!

    But if we think about it, we are giving this pressure to be the “leader” too often and too much. Kids today are exposed to so many great success stories and though that is a good thing, the expectations that follow might make it too much for some to handle.

    Though I keep wondering as to how much greatness should a child be exposed to; one thing that wins over is the fact that if we make children or just any human feel cherished, feel nurtured no matter what; things might be a lot better.

    • Hi Hajra


      This piece was actually a spoof on internet marketing. I have a feeling your subconscious mind was in play. Your eyes saw the word, “lead”, and your mind turned it into the word, “leader”. LOL!

      A “lead” in the world of online marketing is a “prospective client or customer”. 😉

      But thanks so much for stopping by and you’re right about not putting pressure on children — life is complicated enough.

  • can’t…stop…laughing! I loved this!! So creative and ingenious and soooo spot on! I wish you had told me this bedtime story a loooong time ago boo boo 😉


    • I wish someone had told ME this bedtime story a long time ago, too, Kesha. LOL! 😉

      We’re giving our smiling muscles a real workout tonight, aren’t we?!

      I’m still grinning from ear to ear after reading your post — just what the doctor ordered after a long day at work!

  • Oh, Melanie, this is FUNNY! I know the underlying message is that we don’t begin to think of the people who buy from us as just numbers. They’re real people, with real lives and real needs. I’ve really enjoyed my friendship with you over the past 2 years, and I know you’re a real gal!

    • Ditto, kiddo!

      Thanks, Jeanne — my sentiments, exactly. 🙂

      I knew you were a REAL gal the first time I visited your blog. I’m so grateful we both joined that ever lovin’ blog challenge way back when!

      Glad you enjoyed this post and it’s great to connect with you again.

      Have a wonderful weekend!

  • Simply Brilliant!…what more can I say 🙂

    • I’ll take “brilliant” any day of the week! LOL!

      Thank you, Jackie. 🙂

      Really happy you stopped by — have an awesome weekend!

  • Hi everyone
    Number A47923 here and about to leave a comment.

    The one they call Melanie justs gets better and better.
    She could have warned us, she could have complained, she could have gone on about treating people as… people, but no.
    She just told us a story and we all smiled and understood.

    This lady is one superior model – possibly a Nexus 6 or higher.

    Until our next scheduled interaction, this is number A47923 signing out.

    • Hey A47923 — you’re the greatest!

      A reference to Blade Runner …
      And possibly the most riveting scene in the history of the movie industry?!

      WOW. I’m taken aback.

      From one fledgling storyteller to a master …

      Remove those hideous numbers from your lapel.

      I insist!

      The only label you should wear is that of “ambassador”.

      Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. 😉

      Thanks for another poignant and cherished comment, Keith!
      I love you.

      • Blade Runner – possibly my favourite film.
        Not a lot of laughs…. but a fabulous film.

        Love the line “Lost forever… like tears in the rain.”

        Love you too Mel – keep posting this great material.

        • A myriad of thanks, Keith!

          “Lost forever… like tears in the rain.”

          Love that line, too. 🙂

  • Thanks for your post Melanie. It is so good to remember that behind everyone of your “leads” (for lack of a better word) is a real human being.

    One of the wonderful things I discovered on my first webinar this week is that with my webinar service, everyone has to give their name to get on. And I could see that everyone on the webinar was a real person.

    I just loved that, because it made me feel so much more connected with them. Especially when they were asking questions and leaving comments. With other services I have used, you just see phone numbers or the amount of people on the webcast. This made it so much more personal… Loved it!

    I’ll have another one soon!

    • Thanks for dropping in, Daphne!

      You nailed it here …

      “It is so good to remember that behind everyone of your “leads” (for lack of a better word) is a real human being.”

      I’m pleased to hear the webinar service you used recently allowed attendees to share their “names”. ( ” … because it made me feel so much more connected with them.”) 🙂

  • What an imaginative post!
    Yes, being a “lead” is being a “number,” and people are not numbers; we are not an anonymous mass, we are individual persons.

    The word was created, as all words are, by the need to express in a brief and comprehensive manner a reality — in this case, the way professionals (product sellers, service providers, etc) interact with (manage?) their potential customers. That, in itself, is not objectionable, as every profession and/or human activity has its own lingo, helping people pertaining to a certain group communicate effectively in a concise manner.

    What should worry us, I think, is when people get confused and detracted through the words they use; for the wrong use of words may lead (hehe!) to huge misconceptions — and, subsequently, to corresponding actions.

    • Good point, Helenee!

      Thanks for sharing your insights.

      ” … the wrong use of words may lead (hehe!) to huge misconceptions”

      Agree totally.